Copy-Cat-Copywriting

Recently I purchased a book through a promotion by a famous marketing guru. Call her Ursula. I won't share her name, but she uses the word "wealth" a lot. Some promos were offered, such as teleclasses plus one individual consultation.

I wasn't interested in the promos but the book sounded good. So I ordered, figuring I could return it, sell it or give it away to a nice client.

Even before the book arrived, my phone began ringing. Someone I'll call "Melody" began leaving messages. "I want to book you for your complimentary consultation with one of Ursula's coaches."

Melody must have left half a dozen messages. Once she called as I was heading out the door. She bombarded me with email.

Finally I called. The conversation went like this.

Melody: I want to set up your wealth building session.

Me: Will you be the person conducting the session?

Melody: Oh no I just make appointments.

Me: Who will be conducting the session?

Melody: Let's see...you have been assigned to Lance.

Me: What are his qualifications?

Melody: He will introduce himself on the call.

Me: Does he have a last name?

Melody (reluctantly): Yeah...let's see...Lance Lovesmoney.

Me (googling frantically): I don't see him on the Internet. What will we talk about?

Melody (brightening up): You will tell him your income, assets and other financial information. He will help you choose a program. Ursula has programs to fit every need.

Me: What will be the outcome of this call?

Melody: You'll know more about Ursula's programs. You won't get financial recommendations.

Me: So it's really a sales pitch?

Melody: Yes. It's a sales pitch.

Me: Thanks. I am not interested.

Melody: Wait - why are you not interested?

Me: Let's see. You're asking me to put aside 30-45 minutes for a sales pitch from someone I know nothing about. You're suggesting I disclose personal financial information to a stranger for no reason other than to hear a presentation on something I don't want.

Melody: Oh. Have a nice day. (She did have a California area code.)

Me (to the dog, who's been patiently waiting for me to do something more productive, like take her for a walk): If she's so wealthy, why is she selling so hard?

Ursula needs to read my
downloadable ebook on building client relationships.

Labels: customer service, gurus, save money, wealth