Copy-Cat-Copywriting

Earlier I noted that emails should be considered copy,
especially if you're including commercial content. I figured
everybody knows how to do email these days, but...

Someone just sent around a message to all her acquaintances:
"Hi - I'm teaching 3 very different classes at [venue]. Please
open the attachments to learn more. I hope all support me..."

OK, what's wrong?

You need a teaser to motivate readers to attend events. Why should
I open even one attachment, let alone three? I have no idea what's in
any of them and the titles are un-helpfully called "Class1, Class2 and
Class3."

If the 3 events really are separate, come up with a story to tie them
together. And paste your copy into the message. I can't believe anyone
would ask a group of acquaintances to open attachments these days.

She's a newbie. But then my organic produce delivery service sent around
a note: "Dear Cathy: Our records show that you still have bins to return..."

Bins are gray boxes the company uses to hold our wholesome foods. They
leave bins at our door (with perishables wrapped in foil and ice). I leave
them out on delivery day. Aside from being a responsible customer, I just
don't have room for them in my apartment.

So I wrote back, "Is this note addressed to me personally?"

Eventually they replied, "No - we sent this message to everybody."

So why annoy the "good" customers? Just say up front, "This message is
being sent to everyone on our list. If you've returned all your bins,
we thank you from the bottom of our hearts of lettuce, romaine and rutabaga.
If not, please send them so we can continue to bring your apples and pears
this fall..."

Did I write back to enlighten these folks? No way. I learned a long time
ago: wait till they *ask* for advice. They won't.

Labels: announcements, classes, e-mail